A New Life

I wanted to share something from my actual journal today. I'll type it up word for word and write a little bit after. Are you ready? Here we go.

     There's hope!!! Today is day four of MediFast and I've finally found enjoyment and control. I can do this! I can loose weight! I can make healthy decisions! I can choose!

     I have decided to weigh in once a week so that I'm not obsessing over the ups and downs or over the numbers. So I've got until Sunday to worry about all of that. Today I tasted almond milk for the first time. WOW! It's rich, sweet, has great flavor, and most importantly... I can drink it once a day on this diet!!! I haven't been this excited since I got my current job. I know being excited over almond milk may sound ridiculous  but it isn't just that. I'm discovering ways to live healthier. I'm finding that I can be in control of my choices. (With help at first and throughout) I've realized that food isn't suppose to be a reward, a comfort, or something that I "deserve." Let me explain a little further. Yesterday, I flew into San Antonio, Texas. (Need I say more) The moment I walked out of the airport I could smell the aroma of fresh tortillas and fajitas  Not a moment later I had a local telling me the best places to eat and WHERE THEY WERE LOCATED! I called Zach on my way to the hotel and tried to convince him that this may be a once in a life time chance to experience San Antonio for the first time. I tried telling him how good everything smelled and that I deserved it after all of the "nasty" foods I had to endure. I tried to make him tell me it would be OK just this one time. That one meal couldn't or wouldn't somehow break my diet. After what seemed like forever of explanations (and excuses) he would not give in. He told me that opening this door would just lead to more "just this once" times and that I would make and excuse for every city I went to for the first time. He did not falter. He did not change his position and he supported all the right reasons as to why I should not order any Mexican food. Thank goodness for Zach. His unfaltering support had me pacing in my hotel room trying to talk myself into dinner with chips, salsa, tortillas, and as much Mexican food as I could eat in one meal. I was still conflicted when I got in the car and turned on the GPS. I went to Texas Roadhouse, had a salad, fresh vegetables with no butter/oil, and a lean sirloin steak. When I left I felt satisfied  This was a victory for me. And this morning, I felt even better! See, this experience, overcoming this struggle, has taught me that I can choose and make the right choices. Finding the almond milk reassures me that when this is all over and I don't have the structured packets of meals that I don't have to go back to the foods I knew before. There is a better life, better choices, and better foods that I wasn't even aware of. I am finally finding control and a better way. 

So I guess Zach is to thank today for this discovery. But I'm excited for the future and for all of things I have to learn about myself and the way I think about things. (Food in general) So for today I am going to live with hope. Hope in my better future. Hope in my better body. And hope in my better choices. 

--Ashley C.