Innocence Lost

     There was so much innocence lost today. So many children, families, teachers, police officers and friends affected by such a tragedy. This morning a 20 year old boy went to a local elementary school and killed over 20 students and staff, including his own mother. There were many lives saved and spared when this boy shot and killed himself, but no innocence was spared. Kindergardeners... elementary school aged children... their innocence was not saved. They will forever remember today, as will their families. As tears stream down my face, I try to imagine if I had children how I would feel in sending my child to school. I think about all of the policies that are put in place to keep our children safe, but fail to do so. It is hard to imagine the relief I would feel to see my child walking out of their school with their eyes shut, holding onto the child in front of them. I also, with a heavy heart, try to imagine the intense grief, pain, and suffering I would feel if I did not see my child walking out with their class. I can not imagine it this way. I can barely imagine seeing my own siblings, or friend's children not coming home, not opening the presents that are already under the tree for them on Christmas. How devastating events like this are, that we fail to learn from on a personal level. How unprepared we are as a community and society that this continues to happen, over and over again. Once is bad enough, but multiple times, across the nation, in different situations, is almost too much to bear. But we must bear it, we must continue on with life as normal, bear the souls of babies on our minds.
     In a way, I have lost quite a bit of innocence today. I've lost my since of safety and peace of mind. I've lost a lot of faith in other people protecting what is mine. I wish I could do something, but there is nothing to be done. You can not bring back a life after it has ended, no matter how much medical knowledge or "faith" that you may have, you cannot bring back the children or teachers of today's massacre. It is in times like this, where prayer used to comfort me and bring me peace, but there is no peace to be found. Just sorrow. I do hope will everything I have that the families and friends that have been personally affected today will somehow find peace and understanding.

-Ashley C.