Making today a day

     It is my responsibility to make today about today. I am happy to report that I am currently in the process of involving myself in the political realm today. I know, I should have been keeping up with it a long time ago, but it's difficult when no one is honest to support anyone. Even our current president hasn't been the most stand up character either. I haven't decided who I like yet, and I probably won't publicly post any politicians name to support, but I'm looking into it and I hope to find someone who has an ounce of good quality character in them, or I'm just going to have to move to an island and make my own rules. I swear, it's like finding the perfect husband, nearly impossible, and I say nearly because I know he exists.
     Speaking of husbands, I am so stoked for Valentine's day. The whole history of St. Valentine started with Geoffrey Chaucer, an author in the middle ages I think, who started the entire "season" of love so to speak. Saint Valentine use to be a saint, and I'm not sure if he had anything to do with couples in love, but Pope Paul the VI removed this day from the Catholic calendar. Go figure. Anyway, I think holidays are important to celebrate and not the only day to celebrate one another's others love, but just to reflect on how grateful you should be about having someone to love. Weather it be a husband, wife, friend, girl/boy friend, sibling, or neighbor. I am so ready to spend the rest of my life on this earth showing those I love and care for how much I love them. It may not be in a public place, it may not always be in words, but I will always be aware of the love I have for others and be an example to others on how to live a life full of love.

--Ashley

Food and Promises

     Sometimes it rules our lives, sometimes it makes our saddest times bearable, but most of all it is fuel for our bodies. Food has always played a major part in my life and I think I'm mostly writing about it now because I am starving and made a wonderful lunch today. But I get to thinking about food and all of the properties in the things that we eat, how they help us, how they hurt us, it's all pretty interesting. Food is what defines certain cultures and keeps us all alive. I guess it is up to the person to make the right food choices to live a long and healthy life. I promise to make healthy choices when I chose which foods I put in my body at least 75% of the time. At least that gives me two healthy meals a day on off days.
     For other promises, I've committed to reading the bible all the way through with Zach. I am a little nervous about it, but extremely excited at the same time. I am ready to learn more about his thoughts and how they will affect me, but I'm nervous that it will some how fall through and that we won't stick with it until the end. I believe that I have it in me and I think that it will be a really good move for me, but I also think that I have to take this seriously. I am the only person who will cause me to succeed in life and as I'm learning that more and more I want to succeed. I am not depending on anyone else for my future. I am depending on me. And that is the most profound realization that I have had in my adult life so far.


Here's to good luck, food, and promises!


--Ashley

Time

     It's dragging this morning. I have been at work for an hour already and it feels like it has been four. When does time start to mean nothing? It holds such strong parameters to life and every day activities. We have to be at Sally's for eight, be ready at five PM sharp, your shift starts at nine. It's ruling our lives and we allow it to. Time has got to be something man made up to have a start and an end. Everything that we know has a beginning and an end. Mainly life, but other things too. We are all born and we all die, we wake up and fall asleep. I don't believe that everything has a beginning. Somethings always just are and were and will be. Time has restricted our brains and it is almost incomprehensible to think that it is just an idea. But I believe that it is an idea, a good one, but still an idea. It is something that helps us put parameters on our day and our lives. It gives structure and keeps all the chaos out. I'm not saying I want to break free of that. I am a planner, I like schedules and calendars, and rules. I have three calendars that rule my life and I love to know when and where I am suppose to be. (Most of the time) But it is still interesting to think that time is something we have developed as a species.

Any thoughts?

--Ashley

You get a good job with good pay and you're okay... Money

     It is officially pay day and my calculations were spot on (with a 0.50 difference, but that's really close if you ask me). People think it's weird that I keep track of what my paycheck should look like, but it helps me stay focused on work and my finances. Which is the main goal for 2012. Get my finances to a point where I have over $1000 in savings that I don't even touch or look at. It's starting with $40 a paycheck and I'm not doing too bad. Now that being said I am putting myself on a tight budget, which coincidentally keeps me from eating out and adding empty calories to my body, and I plan to stick to it. I am so happy for my support system. Zach is there for me every day and has not once wavered on his undying support. When I'm tempted by ice cream, hot wings, french fries, and burgers he has not once given me an opportunity to want any of these things and gives me the support I need when I follow through with that.
     Now, this particular post being about money, a lot of people donate their money to local charities or cancer research, but I want to donate my time to my community. I haven't decided just yet in what way I want to do this. There is a local child advocate program that I have been thinking about for a long time joining called CASA. And it would possibly use a little money, just on gas and time, but I think it's worth it. I haven't volunteered as much as I use to and I think the way to make your community better is by being a part of it, making it better, and joining arms in cleaning it up. (not just the trash on the side of the road, but the way people live in your area) I think it may be a little naive to believe in karma or in the better good. But I still like to think that my little tiny existence in this world could affect a lifetime of people. I want to build a better world, and don't get me wrong, I'm no mother Theresa, I surely do things to benefit myself, but I do want to help others. I'm not asking for world peace or anything, but if someone could lay their head down on a pillow every night and be apart of a community worth being a part of, that would make all the difference. I'll fill ya in on if I decide to be apart of anything in the future.


Keep Looking up!

--Ashley

Children

     God's greatest gift? The spawn from hell? A miracle? A young human being below the age of full physical development or below the legal age of majority? Two genetic patterns squeezed into one. Many people take for granted their children, even if they are being little devils at the time. I see parents constantly looking with hatred towards their kids; and I have no right to judge. I don't have children of my own, I haven't lived their day, I'm not sure what kind of parent I will be, but at this moment, I am cherishing all of the little children that are lost, alone, loved, hated, precious little children.
     When and if I ever do become a parent I hope that I realize in the middle of those chaotic and crazy moments, I realize how lucky I am to be blessed with beautiful babies. I guess that's the main thing that I have always wanted. A family. It's so southern and proper of me, but it's all I've ever wanted. Well that and to be taken care of, I really don't want to live under a bridge, and being a single mom would suck almost as much.
     I'm actually excited for that day, but know that it will happen when I'm completely ready for it too. While I live in today, I also like to take a little peek into the future every once in a while. This is my life. My dreams. This blog lays out what I wouldn't say out loud to everyone. This is what I know in my heart to be true. Here's to being honest, loving, and happy.

--Ashley


"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."  ~Stacia Tauscher

A Friday sort of Tuesday

     When your weekend is in the middle of the week, it makes things complicated. I am more proficient at getting tasks completed, but it isn't as much fun as a Saturday/Sunday off duo. Today is my "Friday" even though it is technically a Tuesday and I am ready to get out of work and head home.
     Home.. who decides where home is? Is it where you lay your head at night? Is it where your heart is? Your family? A city you reside in? A building you spend the majority of your time in? I don't consider my apartment home, but I constantly call it that. The truth is, I have no clue where my philosophical home is. My parents live in Arkansas with two of my siblings, and I surely don't consider that home. My heart is practically in another country compared to where I am, and I wouldn't want to live there. (Because I feel you should live where your home is) I surely wouldn't consider work my home, I think you should love home with everything you have. I guess I won't really know where home is  until I have one. A family, a place that will always bring me happiness and provide comfort for me. Until then, I will be searching for home and happiness. They both come in time I'm told.

     Time is another funny thing ... I guess I'll have to update on time another day.

--Ashley

Les petites choses (The Little Things)

    If the world was gone in an instant, where would I be? If I never saw my family or friends again, would they remember me? How am I going to inspire someone be the best they can be today? These are some questions that I could vaguely answer, but appreciating the small things is going to be the journey of how I'm going to find out the true answers and meanings behind the questions to myself. Life is too short to spend being angry, I want to live a happy life with people I love. Now I am not too naive. I know that I will have trying times and points where I am upset and frustrated, but if I can try a little hard to appreciate the small things, then my life will be that much better.
     I found myself highly agitated at my older brother this morning for calling me and waking me up from a really good sleep. As I'm going about my day wondering how would I feel if something happened to him today and I never could get a call from him again. I would cherish the last things he uttered to me over the phone, even if I was annoyed at the time of delivery. I am realizing that the tiniest of things affect us, even if we don't realize it. I was talking to the most amazing man in the world this morning on my way to work and I don't always appreciate his tender spirit. I am so grateful for his thought provoking comments and for being patient with me when he needs to be.
     I think we as humans take for granted the smallest of things that make the biggest of differences. Things that once annoyed us we miss, things that are frustrating in a moment are things we would do anything to get back once it is gone.
   
As the French would say "Ne pas transpirer les petites choses."

--Ashley

Sunny, sweets, and school....

     Lots and lots of water! That is my prerogative for the day! I also bought donuts this morning to start off the last day of junk/bad foods. Yeah I get it, the point of a life style change is to make a change, but hey a girl has a right to a last day. Plus I haven't had donuts since high school. ... Why am I defending myself to my own blog? ... Anyway, they were delicious. Tomorrow starts a wonderful week of stir fry chicken, without the fry, so... stir chicken... and turkey squash lasagna. Lots of stuff that I actually like, even if it is healthy. I've decided to go until Valentine's day and then take a small break from the extreme veggie diet. I'll start adding a little bit of starch and a little bit of fats in after that.

     So not to take up my entire blog writing about diets and health, I can not wait until my cousin has her baby! We all went out last night for her father in laws birthday and every time I go to their house I think about this baby that doesn't even have eyes yet. I can't wait to see him/her. I have three things that I have for the baby already. A homemade baby blanket, either blue or pink, (boy or girl goes without saying) a white onsie, and a black onsie. The onsie's will have a saint's Fleur dis lis on the front, the white one will be for away games and the black one will be for home games. I think it's funny, but I am a serious New Orleans Saint's fan. Anyway, I don't want to digress, if they have a girl, her name will be Elizabeth Ann Pierce and if it's a boy they are naming him Gabriel Levy Peirce. So beautiful. I've already got nicknames for them too. Elizabeth will be sunshine (because her father keeps calling her son... he so wants a boy first) and Gabriel will be Gabe (for obvious reasons). And they will call me aunt Ashley. (yes I know... we are cousins... no I don't care) Either way I will love them as much as possible, which is another reason today is the last day for donuts.

       I want to leave a lasting impression of my life on others, I think I have decided to go back to school for education. I really want to teach high school history, but I've considered younger grades as well. If I go to school for high school education I'll actually have to major in something specific, like history or English. But if I go to school for a lower grade of education I get to major actually in education. I haven't decided yet, but I know I would be an AMAZING teacher. Not to toot my own horn, but really, there are some things that we can be good at and somethings that we can be bad at. I just so happen to be good at teaching. There are a lot of pros and cons both ways and i just haven't been able to wrap my head around it just yet. I will soon figure it out though.

Off to drink more water!

--Ashley

Peace

The normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; untroubled; tranquil; content.  
     

        This is what I am searching for. Peace... Inner peace, outer peace... happiness. Not that I am not happy or excited about my life, I am very excited about this new year. A fresh start, a new beginning, a wonderful continuation of my young adult life, and an end to my childhood. Well I think the last Harry Potter movie ended my childhood, but that's a different story.

  It is time to find this peace, a tranquil, content, untroubled, place where I can be free from civil commotion and violence of my community. ... Well that sounded a little dramatic, but really, peace.. it sounds so beautiful to me, and while I'm on this journey of self preservation and discovery I'm going to add peace to the list too. I also think I should start a sort of "bucket list". I hate to make a list of expectations for my life, but there are things I want to do before I die. I want to travel Europe, which I am truly considering doing come next summer, I want to learn French, not because I like French people or anything, but living in Cajun country, lots of people speak French and it's so interesting to have that type of culture. Those are really the only two things I can name right now, but hey, my bucket list has started! Yay!

     Well that's how I am feeling this morning, I'm going out to conquer today, lots of smiles and good attitudes. And I think I'm going to live by the words of Joan Jett; "I'm concentrating on staying healthy, having peace, being happy, remembering what is important, taking in nature and animals, spending time reading, trying to understand the universe, where science and the spiritual meet."

--Ashley

** Adding this later in the day, but raising a great dane is definitely on the list too!!! (And that one has been on the list the longest)

Letter Boxing and GeoCaching

     Well my "weekend" from work was a big hit this week. I got some healthy grocery shopping done and I'm proud to report that I bought 2 weeks of groceries for just under $45. It was my last $45, but hey, healthy living is more important sometimes than extra cash.
     I also took on an adventure yesterday with my older brother, Thomas. We went on a journey called letter boxing. It's kind of a modern day treasure hunting. People all over the country will hide a rubber stamp with a booklet and online they leave clues as to where this stamp is hidden. Now when you find the stamp, you stamp it in your own personal booklet and leave a stamp of your own in the booklet found. It's more about the journey than the stamp, but it is very fun and exciting. We looked for five different stamps and found one. Two of the five had been removed, but we found where they were suppose to be and one of the remaining three we found by following the instructions. The last two I believe are still out there, but I don't think we followed the instructions quite the right way. The final three we looked for were in a state park type area and had to be hiked to. The first one wasn't too difficult to find and it brought on a lot of excitement. The other two on the other hand were pretty far back into the woods and we hiked for over an hour looking for them. Now I don't think we were even in the right area, I'm not the best at following vague directions, but we got a lot of exercise in and it was really peaceful to be outside in the woods. I mean, I'm not one for bugs, but at least I wasn't sweating, then it would have been miserable. Time with my older brother was nice too. I should commit to doing that on a regular basis with him. It was an adventure and I believe we are going to start geocaching next, which is pretty much the same thing, but instead of stamps there are little treasures, like an eraser, or a sticker. Nothing too extravagant, but something to look forward to.
     I finally feel like my life is passing with me in it this year, and I am so grateful for my awareness. I am consciously working on being the best me possible, making new friends, reading a lot more (which is suppose to make me more intelligent), and just over all having a good time while I grow up. Maybe all of these things will happen, maybe they won't, but I do know that for this life to pass without me would be a devastation. I want to be involved in my life and be happy with where I am going.

On with the journey and until next time :)


-- Ashley

Religion and Relationships

     Well I was raised in a household where family values were held at the highest standard, and so were personal standards. I was brought up in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and for the majority of my life I never questioned a thing that I was told; not only in religion, but life in general, relationships, education, any kind of teaching you would learn as a small child.
     Most recently I have been questioning my beliefs, not my core beliefs as a Christian, but just things that I have been told and stories that are in the Bible that I've never taken a second glance at. I want to be as knowledgeable for my own self and spirit about things, instead of taking them at face value. This stemmed from working a lot with people and realizing that humans as a whole will believe anything that they're told without question. It's actually kind of scary how easily manipulated our brains have become. I don't want to be another gray crayon in a box of grays. Let me learn and fill myself with knowledge to know what is true, what is false, and what I should believe. I do think that I rely on God for strength and knowledge as well as a better understanding of what I learn. I think I need to do a lot of studying of the time period in which the Bible was written and how people learned and conversed to understand what the stories were meant for and who they pertained to. It's a work in progress and I am taking on the challenge slowly along with some help from a few people of who's opinions I hold highly.  In doing this, I have found a best friend. Someone who makes me laugh, keeps my spirits at a high when we talk. This person makes me question my self and learn from every action I make. This person holds my heart and my emotions on a string and is usually very careful with how that responsibility lays on their shoulders. I am so very grateful to have this person in my life and wouldn't want to live a day without knowing them.

     I am peaceful today. The rain has fallen, the wind is blowing, God knows I exist and answers my prayers. I am ready to jump in a bubble bath and relax the night away, if only it would come faster.
On another note, I do want to start reading for fun a whole lot more. Maybe I'll start with a good mystery... or a romance, I haven't quite decided just yet.

Until next time...

--Ashley

Realizations

     I have come to realize a lot of things, 1) No matter how small a piece of hair is, it will clog your shower drain. 2) No matter how careful you are at shaving your legs, there will come a point in time where you will cut your self. 3)No matter how carefully you take care of a cut, it will take time to heal.
These are all random facts that affect every part of my life. Even if you have the most extravagant plans, one small bump in the road can ruin the rest of your trip; even if you are extremely careful at all things, you will make a mistake; and no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you aren't hurting inside, time is sometimes the only remedy to heart ache.
     I don't think I have all the answers, I don't think I know everything (all the time), but I do know where I can find the answers, who I can trust, and I know that after I die, the only thing that I will have is the knowledge that I've learned in this life. I want to remind myself daily that sometimes it takes a negative situation to teach me something positive. Not every day is going to be a happy ice cream day. And these things are okay, I have decided that I'm okay with having trying times and being upset, failure, despair, sadness, being lonely. Because these are the things that are going to shape me, these are the things that are going to create who and what I am as an adult, a wife, a mother, a friend.
And if no one reads my realizations, if no one ever lays eyes on this entry, I will know with out a Shadow of a doubt, that who and what I am is from the trying times. Who and what I am is from the sorrows I have carried. Who and what I am is shaped from the people who are standing next to me at the end of the day when the wolves come out.

     I'll end today's entry with a quote from one of my favorite people in history, and I also share his birthday.
"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."  ~Walt Disney

--Ashley

Sunday Funday

     Today is a new day, the weather is chilly and beautiful here in southern Louisiana. It was around 37 degrees when I woke up! Very cold for this part of the state. I have been sticking to my water and vitamin regiment for two whole days now! Yay! (I do have to celebrate the small things, it's the only way I'll make it through this change) I haven't taken any extra time off of work this week either, so my paycheck will thank me too in a couple of weeks. It is a little bit of an adjustment saving even just the small amount of $40 from my check every two weeks, but I know in the end, it will be worth the journey of my life.
     On a less exciting note, the New Orleans Saints lost their opportunity to go to the super bowl again this year. They were playing the San Fransisco 49er's and lost by a few points in the very last minute of the game. It was distressing and I was a little upset if I must admit it, but there is always next season, and who knows, maybe we will make it to the Super Bowl when it's held in the Mercedes Benz Super Dome in New Orleans. That would be exciting, especially because the Superbowl is being played the Sunday before Mardi Gras. Now that would be a life experience to get my hands into, well my whole body, just my hands would be a little weird. I guess I'll just have to keep having faith and believing in my team.
Here goes to conquering another day, another week, and another year.
-Ashley

Update

     So I was reading my past entries, and I've decided I definitely need an update. Eating definitely affected me physically, I went on a diet (the one I mentioned in my previous post), the hCG diet, and I lost some weight, then when I got off my diet I had to have my gallbladder removed because it became inflamed and started creating gallstones, I guess watching what food I intake does affect me, especially after I've trained it to eat healthy good foods. After that, my healthy living halfway fell down the toilet, I still drink a lot of water, and have dropped the soda intake. I'm now working one job, instead of two, and I'm happy with where I am mentally, for the most part... I am now working at an unnamed cell phone company, that I'll refer to as AP&P, specifically working in a call center with "jPhones". I work 40 hours a week and when I'm home... I'm actually home! This all happened in August of 2011, I moved to Lafayette, LA; which is about an hour west of where I was living. I began living with my cousin's sister in law and I am enjoying having a roommate. My bills are split and it's nice to have someone around to talk to. Her name is Stephany P. and I'll refer to her as Stephany or Steph. My cousin, Jessica, got married in November, and I served in her wedding as the maid of honor. This affected my eating habits and spending habits as well. Now that all of the events associated with her wedding are all over and she is now pregnant, I am getting my health together. I have to be available for my little cousin when he or she comes into this world. Being a good example to them is going to be top priority as far as motivation goes. That and finding someone good enough to marry. That has always been the motivation behind most of my wants with health and finances. Marriage is the ultimate goal for me, I really would like to find a good provider and loving person to spend the rest of my life with. I guess I won't ever find him if I don't put myself out there. As far as updates on my life go I'm sure there are more things I could think of to write, but these are the important things. Here's to conquering my life once again!
-Ashley

It's been a while...

     As you can all see, I didn't keep up with this blog for very long. I'm going to go ahead and start up again and we will see how long it lasts. I have decided to change my eating habits. This next week will be spent drinking more water and taking a multi-vitamin preparing my body for a change. I also don't want to get burnt out again either. This year is all about getting my finances together. I have started by taking $40 out of my paycheck today (first paycheck of the year) and placing it in a separate bank account. I will not use or touch this money for anything other than an emergency situation... no that does not apply to an emergency craving of ice cream or movie tickets. I mean a real emergency, like a flat tire, or a trip to the hospital. So the main goal is to financially prepare to be a grown up. I am also as a side goal getting my health in order, hence the diet. Nothing is in stone, these are just goals. I have expectations, but I'm keeping an open mind.

Until next time :)

Ashley