Positive.. Negative... Should it Matter?

     I am going to stop analyzing others decisions. The more I worry about someone else's choices the less time I have to focus on bettering myself. I don't want to live a life of wandering why he did this or why she said that... It's exhausting. I shouldn't care if people like me or why someone has treated me with less respect than I think I deserve. I should care about how much I like myself and how much respect I have for myself. I should be focusing on the positive things in my life and responding to positive people in my life. This may help build moral and boost my self worth.
     Time goes on, people make mistakes, forgiveness is an option, and I will survive all of life's curve balls.


Love -- Ashley

Happily Confused

     So there has been good news, bad news, and crazy news in my life just within the past week alone. I want things to be perfect, I want my life to fall into place like it seems to do for most people. I know that isn't very realistic, but that's what I want. I want to be happy when I wake up in the morning and peaceful when I fall asleep at night. I want to be able to sleep for more than three hours at a time. Maybe I'm being selfish, but there are so many things that I want from life that I am not currently getting. Oh and by the way, I don't want to have to work so hard for them. I feel like I'm getting to a place of peace, happiness, and security, but I'm confused about the journey. I guess I'll just have to hold on for the ride and hope that it all goes somewhere that I can be proud about.

--Ashley

Love, Blood, and Salt

     Saying you're going to "start fresh" with relationships is like saying putting salt in an open cut is going to allow you to use your injured (limb) like brand new. There's a big gaping hole where your love use to come from and healing is the first part. The salt is all the memories and things you miss about that person causing the intense pain and suffering. But the salt is necessary to heal. Things would not get better faster without the salt, you would bleed out and become infected and bitter. I'm accepting the salt with gritted teeth and hoping that there won't be too bad of a scar.

    Here's to moving on and "starting fresh"... as much as possible that is.

--Ashley

Goodness Good

     This Friday hasn't been very good for me as far as Good Friday's go. I have been at work and catching the posts on facebook of crawfish boils and egg dying gatherings that I'm missing out on. I wish I could be someone else somewhere else right now. My life has felt up in smoke for nearly a month now and I can't even bring myself to reflect on it or write about it at this time. I surely hope things pick up soon, there isn't much farther to fall at this point.

--Ashley