Transformations all around!

     Well a new gym membership was signed up for this past Sunday before bringing Stephany to get her tattoo re-done for her early birthday present! (Aren't I such a good roommate) And hopefully we can transform ourselves as well as her tattoo was transformed into a brighter better figure of itself. I just want to be healthy and active. This isn't so hard with someone else and with a set schedule. We have already decided that EVERY Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we will be working out for at least an hour each session. Now I have a feeling we will be switching our Sunday's to Monday's, but as long as it's three times a week I'll be happy, and for $10 a month you really can't beat it. She gets her unlimited tanning and we both get unlimited gym use with a personal trainer if we need one. I'm excited to be moving again. Almost as excited as I am about the new yoga pants I got for $3!!! (And no I will not post pictures of my butt Jon) But I am happy to be actively working towards a happier healthier me. Maybe I will be all slim and trim for my trip to Europe next summer.

--Ashley

Girls Night Out turned into Guys Night Drama

     Well last night we went to a club/bar/dancehall whatever here in town and it was pretty fun to start the night out. I have a girl friend of mine who has been wanting to meet a guy friend of mine for a while and he actually really likes her. Well there was a bit of drama between this two guy one girl triangle going on silently and ended in tears and french fries. Oh no, they didn't end up apart, but I have mixed feelings on it. I'm very concerned that my guy friend is going to be hurt in the end and that my girl friend is going to end up with a jerk. (The jerk is the third guy she has been talking with on the side) I know this all seems a little confusing and filled with drama, and believe me it is, I just don't want to put their details on the web if they don't know I'm writing about them. But for a night that started out so fun and towards the middle was so awful, I did have a good time and I enjoyed not being in my room staring at the ceiling wondering about my future or why I feel so alone.

--Ashley

I Am Me!

Well I've decided that being me is all I'm really good at lately. I don't always like it, but it is what it is. I want to be me to the fullest and I'm having an okay time being me so far in my life. Just wanted to update everyone and try to put a smile on my face today. Today is for me. I think sometimes it always has been about me, I can be quiet the selfish one at times but sometimes it is needed. I colored my hair, and I'll post pictures, while the lighting doesn't show it's full red potential it is not a bad picture. In the sun it looks like it's on fire and at the office it has a subtle hue of red, but mostly brown. The perfect auburn. Anyway, enough of an update. I hope to be writing more often, just trying to get myself out of a funk. Hopefully a girls night out will help with that!

Positive.. Negative... Should it Matter?

     I am going to stop analyzing others decisions. The more I worry about someone else's choices the less time I have to focus on bettering myself. I don't want to live a life of wandering why he did this or why she said that... It's exhausting. I shouldn't care if people like me or why someone has treated me with less respect than I think I deserve. I should care about how much I like myself and how much respect I have for myself. I should be focusing on the positive things in my life and responding to positive people in my life. This may help build moral and boost my self worth.
     Time goes on, people make mistakes, forgiveness is an option, and I will survive all of life's curve balls.


Love -- Ashley

Happily Confused

     So there has been good news, bad news, and crazy news in my life just within the past week alone. I want things to be perfect, I want my life to fall into place like it seems to do for most people. I know that isn't very realistic, but that's what I want. I want to be happy when I wake up in the morning and peaceful when I fall asleep at night. I want to be able to sleep for more than three hours at a time. Maybe I'm being selfish, but there are so many things that I want from life that I am not currently getting. Oh and by the way, I don't want to have to work so hard for them. I feel like I'm getting to a place of peace, happiness, and security, but I'm confused about the journey. I guess I'll just have to hold on for the ride and hope that it all goes somewhere that I can be proud about.

--Ashley

Love, Blood, and Salt

     Saying you're going to "start fresh" with relationships is like saying putting salt in an open cut is going to allow you to use your injured (limb) like brand new. There's a big gaping hole where your love use to come from and healing is the first part. The salt is all the memories and things you miss about that person causing the intense pain and suffering. But the salt is necessary to heal. Things would not get better faster without the salt, you would bleed out and become infected and bitter. I'm accepting the salt with gritted teeth and hoping that there won't be too bad of a scar.

    Here's to moving on and "starting fresh"... as much as possible that is.

--Ashley

Goodness Good

     This Friday hasn't been very good for me as far as Good Friday's go. I have been at work and catching the posts on facebook of crawfish boils and egg dying gatherings that I'm missing out on. I wish I could be someone else somewhere else right now. My life has felt up in smoke for nearly a month now and I can't even bring myself to reflect on it or write about it at this time. I surely hope things pick up soon, there isn't much farther to fall at this point.

--Ashley